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Opining of a Cranky Old Man

Kingston Trio Ballad of ‘A Worried Man’ Reminds Us Many Celebrities Could Sing a Worried Song

LeBron James, Lindsay Lohan, Mel Gibson, etal - Don’t now how many are singing a ‘worried song’ but perhaps these should

By Bill Kalmar, Retiree

Very early color TV performance of the classic "A Worried Man." For more YouTube videos of Kingston Trio, starting with "They Call the Wind Maria," Click Here

July 14, 2010 - Perhaps there are some of you readers who recall, or some who may be too embarrassed to admit,  that they remember The Kingston Trio.  Back in the 50’s this American folk and pop music group was one of the most listened to singing ensembles in the nation.  Their LP albums (yes, albums – not CDs) sold millions of copies.  I am not too proud to admit that I was and still am an ardent fan. 

We saw them perform at the now defunct Punch and Judy Theater in Grosse Pointe many years ago and it was an energetic sing-a-long.   Who can ever forget the tuneful “Tom Dooley”, “They Call the Wind Maria”, “Scotch and Soda”, and of course “A Worried Man”.  That song had the words – “It takes a worried man to sing a worried song”. 

Now I don’t now how many of the following individuals are singing a “worried song”  but I think perhaps they should! 

 

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Here’s my reasoning:

  ▪  Al Gore’s separation from his wife, Tipper, and subsequent tabloid allegations about a late night massage that has turned into a media circus perhaps has him worried a bit – you think?  Maybe he was spending too much time on global warming while a slight chill was developing in his own household!

  ▪  Lindsay Lohan evidently wasn’t worrying while she was partying overseas and then supposedly couldn’t return for a court hearing because her passport had been misplaced.  To top things off, her alcohol monitoring anklet was somehow activated (she indicated that someone had spilled a drink near her) and thus the judge decided it was time for her to worry about some jail time.

  ▪  All along I thought Elvis was the King.  Now I discover that high school hoopster LeBron James has that title.  The only element missing from his recent ESPN spectacle was the customary F-16 fly over but maybe I was out of the room when it occurred.  In any event, wonder if he and the other two b-ball participants are worried what the impact will be if the Miami Heat fail to win a title.

  ▪  Back in July 2006 Mel Gibson was arrested for suspicion of driving under the influence of alcohol.  That incident revealed his anti-Semitic leanings, which he later apologized for.  Now there is an allegation that he abused his spouse and a tape has been released,  supposedly with his voice,  that contains some racist comments. 

Reports are that his talent agency has dropped him.  Maybe it’s time for Mel to revisit the theme of his movie “What Women Want” because his current antics seem to run contrary to what was on that list, namely, respect and courtesy.  You would think with the seven children from his first marriage he would have enough worries for a lifetime and not have to create more problems for himself.

  ▪  Kwame Kilpatrick, the convicted perjurer,  currently serving a jail sentence in Michigan recently had additional corruption charges levied against him.  Evidently what some have characterized as an exorbitant Texas lifestyle did not come with any worries based on how he conducted himself in court with his usual swagger. 

Wonder if he worries while in jail what is happening to all those French cuffed dress shirts with the words, “The Mayor” inscribed thereon.  Not to worry though, Kwame.  Maybe the warden can have your orange jumpsuit inscribed with the words, “The Convict”.

  ▪  If you were Tiger Woods would you be worried at a divorce settlement thought to be around $750 million?  Actually after he canoodled with multiple women over the years you would think that his worries would not be about money but perhaps about a transmitted disease. 

  ▪  Wonder if British Petroleum (BP) management is worried about running out of money before they run out of oil?  My solution to the problem would be to just lower a couple of executives in a diving bell to the oil well and provide them with some duct tape and super glue.  How about this for a new name for BP?  Can you say “Bad People”!

Click to Website of Kingston Trio

When the Kingston Trio sang “Worried Man”,  they probably weren’t thinking about all the tribulations these scoundrels had gotten themselves into.  One of the lines from this classic is – “I’ll be home tonight so I won’t be worried long”.  When you examine the above list, I doubt if any of my candidates have the ability to go home (Kwame of course, and Lindsay shortly) or would want to because of what might be facing them. 

Include in that scenario LeBron James attempting to return to Cleveland.  Don’t think there would be a jubilant parade awaiting him.  And unlike the iconic fictional mascot of MAD magazine, Alfred E. Neuman,  who always uttered, “What? Me Worry?”, our pack of ponderous people would seem to be developing a lot of worry lines on their palms. 

But on the other hand, maybe they have purchased worry beads as insurance against all these problems.  For Lohan it might just compliment her alcohol monitoring ankle bracelet!

 

L Bill Kalmar is retired in Lake Orion, Michigan, and is the former Director of the Michigan Quality Council. He is a frequent contributor to SeniorJournal.com. His opinions are his own.

 

 

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